Yesterday I saw not one but two motorcycles with handicap license plates. If you can ride a motorcycle around how can you qualify for handicap status?

My Favorite Child

I remember when I was a child asking my parents who was their favorite child. The answer was the generic "I love all my children the same, equally". I did not believe it I could blatantly see the favoritism yet, no one would admit it. So I came to the conclusion when I was younger that parents love equally but, give discriminately. I vowed when I was a parent I would never do this abhorring act of favoritism amongst siblings. Now here I am I have four kids and the verdict is "I have a favorite". Yes, I will admit it every parent has one. Sometimes my favorite changes even daily but, there is a favorite. So I do love them equally and also favor discriminately. How can I help it I am only human. Can you guess who my favorite is right now?

Falling in Love

I remember when Steve and I were dating and I had that "I am falling in love with this guy" feeling. Well the same thing happens with my children. I start getting excited when they make eye contact with me and smile. Sometimes I just feel such an overwhelming sensation as I hold Louis all I can think to do is just squeeze him. I usually instantly regret it as the next event that happens is half digested breast milk all down my shirt. I want it to be known to all, it is official I am in love!

I Had A Dream Last Night

So last night I was on a sailboat. I am not familiar with sailboats and I am feeling uncomfortable. The wind starts to pick up and I am moving through the water really fast. I look around and see that all four of my kids are on the boat with me. I start to panic and call to them to stay close to me. I look up to realize the water is extremely shallow in certain areas and there are coral reefs everywhere. I see nothing but water no land and I have no sense of direction. I need help and realize no one can help me. The wind is getting stronger. We are moving fast. The faster we move the lower we move into the water. My kids are all under the water and I am trying to maneuver around the coral reefs and hold all four of my kids above the water so they can breath. They keep slipping out of my hold and its beginning to get dark. This was my dream last night

also my life. This is how I feel about having a fourth child. Welcome to the world Louis!

Did I Ever Tell You That I am Pregnant?

I am due in three weeks. This pregnancy has gone by so fast. There is still so much for me to do before the baby gets here. It doesn't help that I am tired all day because lack of sleep. Yes, I cannot sleep. My circulation is not good so when I sleep whatever side I am laying on that arm becomes "dead" you know all tingly and burning. So I wake on everyday around 3am (I am typing this blog at 4:39 am). This has been my most uncomfortable pregnancy yet. Partly due to our extreme socal heat. Which I am enjoying a reprieve from. I do not want to complain too much about my pregnancy because one who likes complainers? Two the end result is something so glorious, a beautiful baby! I was laying in bed thinking about being pregnant. I just turned 30 and for the past, almost 7 years I have been pregnant for three of those years and when not pregnant I have been breastfeeding. Sounds like dedication or craziness. Some more of my thoughts on pregnancy and babies. I get more nervous every delivery. I know it should seem the other way around but, I am more nervous to give birth this time (my 4th) then I was with my 1st. I am so excited to see the baby to see what he looks like. It is one of the most sacred things when a baby takes thier first breath. They hand my Baby to me I look at them and I see someone I feel I have always known. Someone who has always been with me. Or they hand me my Baby and I feel like I am looking at a complete stranger and I feel confused as to why I do not feel this "deep connection" with the Baby. Yes, I have had both experiences. I have learned even though you may not feel

"connected" in an instant the relationship with your Baby can grow in to an absolute love affair! Yes, I am referring to My Love Clyde. When he was born I did not want to hold him Steve was really emotional with tears streaming down his face and I just remember thinking "what is he crying about?" Well everything worked out I feel in love with my son. I did not struggle with postpartum depression with him. So I am very curious how everything will turn out for this delivery and this little baby BOY B. I love babies especially my own and I love being a mom(most of the time).

Wish I Could Bottle This Up!

Clydes Birthday cake. It was a joint effort between Steve and I.

Me holding my Clydee in the hospital.

The smile that sends me all a flutter.

It has always grossed me out a little listening to women talk about their sons and then I had one. I am madly in love with my little man. He turned two on august 8th and I want to just bottle him up so I can always have things how they are right now. Clyde is the sweetest little boy. He loves his Mom and the thought of it ever being any other way can bring me to tears.

Fun with Photo Booth