Falling in Love

I remember when Steve and I were dating and I had that "I am falling in love with this guy" feeling. Well the same thing happens with my children. I start getting excited when they make eye contact with me and smile. Sometimes I just feel such an overwhelming sensation as I hold Louis all I can think to do is just squeeze him. I usually instantly regret it as the next event that happens is half digested breast milk all down my shirt. I want it to be known to all, it is official I am in love!

I Had A Dream Last Night

So last night I was on a sailboat. I am not familiar with sailboats and I am feeling uncomfortable. The wind starts to pick up and I am moving through the water really fast. I look around and see that all four of my kids are on the boat with me. I start to panic and call to them to stay close to me. I look up to realize the water is extremely shallow in certain areas and there are coral reefs everywhere. I see nothing but water no land and I have no sense of direction. I need help and realize no one can help me. The wind is getting stronger. We are moving fast. The faster we move the lower we move into the water. My kids are all under the water and I am trying to maneuver around the coral reefs and hold all four of my kids above the water so they can breath. They keep slipping out of my hold and its beginning to get dark. This was my dream last night

also my life. This is how I feel about having a fourth child. Welcome to the world Louis!

Did I Ever Tell You That I am Pregnant?

I am due in three weeks. This pregnancy has gone by so fast. There is still so much for me to do before the baby gets here. It doesn't help that I am tired all day because lack of sleep. Yes, I cannot sleep. My circulation is not good so when I sleep whatever side I am laying on that arm becomes "dead" you know all tingly and burning. So I wake on everyday around 3am (I am typing this blog at 4:39 am). This has been my most uncomfortable pregnancy yet. Partly due to our extreme socal heat. Which I am enjoying a reprieve from. I do not want to complain too much about my pregnancy because one who likes complainers? Two the end result is something so glorious, a beautiful baby! I was laying in bed thinking about being pregnant. I just turned 30 and for the past, almost 7 years I have been pregnant for three of those years and when not pregnant I have been breastfeeding. Sounds like dedication or craziness. Some more of my thoughts on pregnancy and babies. I get more nervous every delivery. I know it should seem the other way around but, I am more nervous to give birth this time (my 4th) then I was with my 1st. I am so excited to see the baby to see what he looks like. It is one of the most sacred things when a baby takes thier first breath. They hand my Baby to me I look at them and I see someone I feel I have always known. Someone who has always been with me. Or they hand me my Baby and I feel like I am looking at a complete stranger and I feel confused as to why I do not feel this "deep connection" with the Baby. Yes, I have had both experiences. I have learned even though you may not feel

"connected" in an instant the relationship with your Baby can grow in to an absolute love affair! Yes, I am referring to My Love Clyde. When he was born I did not want to hold him Steve was really emotional with tears streaming down his face and I just remember thinking "what is he crying about?" Well everything worked out I feel in love with my son. I did not struggle with postpartum depression with him. So I am very curious how everything will turn out for this delivery and this little baby BOY B. I love babies especially my own and I love being a mom(most of the time).

Wish I Could Bottle This Up!

Clydes Birthday cake. It was a joint effort between Steve and I.

Me holding my Clydee in the hospital.

The smile that sends me all a flutter.

It has always grossed me out a little listening to women talk about their sons and then I had one. I am madly in love with my little man. He turned two on august 8th and I want to just bottle him up so I can always have things how they are right now. Clyde is the sweetest little boy. He loves his Mom and the thought of it ever being any other way can bring me to tears.

Fun with Photo Booth

Lazy Mom, Lovely Daughter. Happy Birthday Clara!

So my sweet Clara turned 4 on July 19th. She is convinced she is catching up to June since June will not turn 6 until september. Clara is a whole lot of sweet with some new found 4 year old sass.

Here are somethings about Clara I want to always remember:

- She has an amazing imagination. This is a world she enters very often. She has a husband named Chote and her name is Meato Seato they live in Texas and they have a dog named Lucy. Clara will go on and on about how they met and how much Chote loves her.

- She loves to dance and usually has a very serious look on her face while she is doing it.

- She comes in our room every night and cuddles with Steve and I.

- Clara refers to Steve(her Dad) as her boyfriend especially when she wants something. She has Steve wrapped around her finger and he knows it.

- Clara always talks about getting married. She recently told me that when she grows up she will marry the Goblin King (David Bowie) from the movie "Labyrinth" and become the Goblin Queen. They will do magical things together.

-On Claras first day of pre-school she insisted that she bring her Book of Mormon to show everyone.

- Clara is very sensitive and gets her feelings hurt easily. 

- She is a peacemaker.

- She is quiet, but not shy.(unless Kenny Brady is around)

- Clara dresses herself and I am amazed at some of the outfits she comes up with. She already has a taste for fashion and loves getting new clothes.

- Clara has yet to lose her big cheeks and I hope she doesn't anytime soon.

- Clara was the easiest baby and has so far been a fairly easy child. I always say she brings a needed balance into our Home. 

 

This list can go on and on, though I will stop here. 

Things Clara has said to me today

She was crying for me this morning at around 4:30 am

me: what's wrong?

Clara: I'm wet

me: Did you pee the bed again?

Clara: No, I was playing in the sprinklers.

me: No, you weren't its dark outside.

Clara: Yes, I went out there after you went to sleep. I don't pee my bed.

This morning around 10:00 am

me: Clara can I have a hug.

Clara: No, I will give you one tomorrow.

me: Tomorrow, I want one now!  

Clara: You have to be patient.

Today at 12:20- we are watching "The Nightmare Before Christmas" I am singing along quietly

Clara: Mom you sound very pretty when you sing quietly and I can't really hear you.

Happy Birthday Steven Elbert!

So I am having a hard time blogging. My mind is full and when I attempt to blog I go off on a tangent I can not articulate much these days. But I do want to say a little something  about my husband. He just turned 38. I remember when I first met him he had just turned 28 and I thought he was old. Here we are 10 years later creeping up on 40 and he still looks like the 28 year-old I met, only more attractive. How do men do it? I look around me and all the men are looking better every year. Okay I am going to try to stay focused this is about Steve. Anyone who knows Steve knows this. He is very generous. If anyone he cared for needed anything he would help them out the best he can. Steve does not talk bad about people. If he thinks it, he won't say it. If he has an issue with you, he will address it to you, and no one else. He will never talk about you behind your back. He gives no false flattery, if he compliments you he means it. Steve is the best of both worlds - he inherited his Dads athleticism (and love of basketball) and his Moms musical talents. He is my musician jock. Steve is my anchor... I could not do this without him. He is the calm in my storm. I love him. Oh, and we make cute babies together. Happy Birthday ! 

Help Wanted

WILL PAY! Looking for someone to show up at my house and clean my bathrooms. Minimal experience needed. Just someone who isn't easily grossed out and or offended by grim and stink. Please respond promptly position needs to be filled immediately.

There is only one Clyde!

 So my neighbor is pregnant with a boy and she recently asked me if Steve and I would be mad if they named him Clyde. My response was" Clyde is a good name" and said nothing else.  She then asked again a couple days later she asked again and I said "as long as you are comfortable knowing our Clyde is the real one." Her asking me evoked a feeling of possessiveness. I wanted to say no I would not feel comfortable with you guys naming your son Clyde please find another name. So I ask you readers how do you feel about it? Do you think I am being silly? Before you answer that please read my reasons why I did not grant her permission. Also if you do want to name your child a name thats already been used by someone you frequently interact with what is protocol? Do you ask for permission? If who you ask says they aren't that happy with it, do you then respect their wishes? Well I am going to answer those questions I have posed and feel free to agree and/or disagree with me. 

1.  Here is some background on  me. My name is Jill. I enjoyed growing up having a well known name that no one else ever had so there sparked my desire to do the same for my own Children.

2. For me when someone I know uses a name I automatically take if off my list for use. So I find it odd when people do not do the same.

3. I have a sister named Julie I also have a first cousin named Julie. Growing up it just never sat right with me.

 Okay so not far into this obnoxious rant I realized something, I am possessive of the name June and Clyde. When I was pregnant with June before we knew the sex I had a dream I was having a girl and that her name was to be June. It felt (silly as it might seem) like a spiritual experience, something divine bestowed a name on my Baby Girl. With Clyde, the same thing only Steve wanted to name Clara, Clyde only she was a dainty girl. So when I was pregnant with Clyde I knew it was a boy (but not sure I wanted to name him Clyde)  I had a dream one night there was a little blond haired boy running around the house and I was calling him Clyde. So there it is If you want to name your daughter Clara go ahead I chose her name from a baby book in the hospital. If you want to name your daughter June or your son Clyde and we are good friends. Just let me know ahead of time. I will be able to come to terms with it. I know I am not the inventor of those names, just a neurotic mom with a lot of bigger issues I prefer to avoid and instead focus on the unimportant ones. Thanks for your time.  

The Story of The Tall Pirate

There once was a little girl named June who liked to dress up as a pirate. All the other little girls in her class( and there were many) loved to be princesses and fairies and anything that was pretty. Not June, she liked to wear her pirate clothes. Thats not all she truly believed in piracy(though she didn't practice it). She waited for authorization from an authority to claim what her heart desired. She liked the freedom of being a pirate. No expectations of niceness or good manners yet she was still nice and had good manners. Some believe because of all the joy and freedom she felt, she began to grow taller than all the others. 

  You can see June the Pirate walking around Brea sometimes you might comment to yourself "she is very tall" maybe you should rephrase it to "she is very happy."

TAG-A-ROO

Kristyn tagged me. This seemed fun here is what you do...

1. go to your my pictures site on your computer

2. go to the 6th file

3. go to the 6th pic

4. blog about it

5. tag 6 people

Well this is my picture. It is one of Steves halls. I have never been to this hall and no little about it. So I decided I would either blog about my 5th file 5th pic or 7th file 7th pic. I decided to go w/ the 5th one before I looked at either one, because that is the fun of this tag. Well I instantly regretted it.

I know what you are thinking "Jill- that is what is so great about digital cameras. You can look at the picture and if it looks like that you delete it. You do not upload it to your computer and then post it on your blog just because it is a picture of you and June on Christmas morning 2004." To be honest I kept it because I took an equally bad picture of Steve that same morning so it was tit for tat. ( you can see our Live Christmas tree  behind me. I thought I would do my part to save the planet. After Christmas I planted it in the backyard and despite daily waterings it died five months later. I have not done a live christmas tree since. )  

I tag...

1. Julie H.

2. Colt

3. Emilia

4.

5.

6.

Highlights of '08

..Here are my top 10 events of 2008!

10. My car breaking down on the way to our family reunion about 20 miles outside of Blythe it was 115 degrees and a big-rig that was transporting budweiser  picked us up and dropped us off at a Holiday Inn Express. My sister Julie, her in-laws have a house at the river- she was on  her way out there. She called her husband Ryan who was already at the river to meet her in Blythe at Dennys (where we were eating) they then let us take their car on to our family reunion in eastern Arizona. Thank you again Julie and Ryan you guys are good people.

9. The car I previously spoke of is a VW the engine blew up as a result of sludge. We were told that even though it is under warranty and we had all our oil change records they would not cover it. It would cost us $6,000 to replace the engine. A man that worked there suggested that we call customer service. They were very nice unlike the manager at the dealership. They took care of it at no cost to us. Thank you VW customer care lady!

8. Going to the Getty when the Bernini exhibit was there. If you are not familiar with Bernini he was a genius. He is credited with defining baroque art. Most of his more famous works stayed in Rome or could not be moved( i.e St.Peters, Apollo and Daphne)  While it was his lesser known work it was magnificent. He had a way of capturing the soul and encasing it in stone. I actually cried looking at his emotion filled art- something I had not done in almost a year. Thank you Gian Lorenzo Bernini! Because of you I can cry again.

7. The return of my sister Jessica from Utah. She now lives in Brea and I love having her close. Thank you Utah for being so lame Jessica wanted to come back!

6.&5. The birth of Lyla and Henry. Thanks Julie and Kristyn for multiplying and replenishing with your husbands.

4. On my 29th B-day we went and ate at Lala's then went dancing at The Shortstop where D.J. Lance Rock was spinning records that made me feel like it was 1979! Thank you Mom for giving birth to me and thank you Dad for insisting that my name be Jill and not Tiffany or Cheyenne!!

3. Clyde and Sheldons 1st Birthday. It was at the Brea Plunge . Rodney wowed us with his culinary expertise. Good food and good friends. It was the best birthday party  ever . All who were in attendance I think agree. Thank you to everyone who came!

2. Walking to the park with my kids a car full of guys leaving the skate park yelled out "MILF" to me. While this being extremely inappropriate it still made me smile. Thank you nasty boys for making me feel like I am a hot mom!

1. Celebrating mine and Steve's 7 year anniversary. Thank you Steve-you know how to treat me like a lady. I love you!   

Thank You 2008. I had some fun times with you. 

Disgraceful!

I apologize for my lack of posting. I will resume shortly.